"Wuxi China fruity fruit drink fanciers have the highest per capita income in the world," said the organizers of the festival Christopher and Chad. "Wuxi China Expatdom Fruity Fruit Drinkers also have the highest level of educational achievement and sexual prowess of any demographic group anywhere!" they added. "So, everyone is trying to sell to them by showing how super-duper mister hooper their fruity drinks are!"
Fifty Four thousand five hundred fifty four fruity fruit flavored beverage booths were set up in the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. Companies including Passion Fruit Drinks, Wuxi Fruit Drinkers and Consultants, Wuxi Lovely Fruits, Wuxi Solar Panels and Fruits, Wuxi Real Fruity Beverages, Wuxi Pharma Fruits, Wuxi FruiTec, Jiangnan Mini Fruit, Hui Shan Honey Peaches, and Meicun Melons set up booths. Said Sam DeForest, CEO of Fruity Harmony Beverages and Valves, "The Wuxi China Expatdom fruity fruit drink fancier is currently the most-wanted demographic in the world. It has lots of savings. A passion for fruit. A great sense of fashion and human decency. And it loves to go to the firing range! All good things in my book!"
Five thousand booths selling firearms were also set up. Andis Kaulins, president of the Wuxi China Expat Rifle Association, said that "people who have a passion for fruity beverages have the right to protect themselves from the less understanding types!" Fruity fruit drinker Gregory Peck said "If anyone threatens and says I should drink carrot juice instead of my cantaloupe juice, I will call his bluff!" Said Lloyd Bridges: "Look at me the wrong way while I am drinking my passion fruit and kiwi fruit drink, and you will be drinking lead!" Said Rexy Robinson: "I like drinking orange juice when I am shooting skeet or defending myself late at night while walking the really tough and mean Wuxi streets-- the ones that only the tough and rough and burly Harry Callahan can patrol!"
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