Sunday, October 23, 2011

Wuxi China Expatdom to build two Intercontinental Railways

Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Transportation Steve "McQueen" Hartz announced that the Expatdom will build two intercontinental railways: one to Australia, and another to North America

Minister "McQueen" said the North America to Wuxi China Expatdom Express would go through Siberia, pass directly over the North Pole, before entering Canada.  In Canada, the Express would pass through Canada's northern territories before arriving in Manitoba and the city of Brandon, where the parents of Andis Kaulins live.  The Express would then take passengers to Detroit, Michigan where an AKIC fan lives.

The Wuxi China Expatdom to Australia Express will go straight south, more or less, from Wuxi, China to Brisbane, Australia.  Harry Moore, two-time inductee in the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame and the charismatic current president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, lives in Brisbane and loves movies about train travel.

Minister "McQueen" said the railways would be completed in a week and the trains would be able to approach speeds of 8,888 km per hour.  Said the Minister:  "We have bought about 20,000 km of track from Takara TOMY which is easy to put together.  We don't even need engineering firms to help us! And I can tinker with the engines so they can go super-fast like a bat out of hell!"

His majesty the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty, praised Minister McQueen for his ambitious train project being built on an Andis Kaulins budget.  Said His Majesty: "Take that, President Obama!"

2 comments:

  1. Extremely impressive - possibly the greatest engineering project in the history of all things.

    Just two minor questions:
    - would the Express on the route to Canada encounter a lot of snow and ice, in which case would the engine be fitted, at the front, with some kind of blow-torch to melt the snow-drifts?

    And, since this mammoth project has been built on an Andis Kaulins budgetary-model, I propose that Andis has the privilege of being the driver on the inaugural Manitoba trip. And there, Mayor Sam Katz could present Andis with a golden scroll of honour. "All aboard!".

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  2. The train going at 8,888 km/h will cut throw snow and ice like it is butter.

    I am afraid an Andis Kaulins budget means no special guests on the inaugural trip.

    Katz is mayor of Winnipeg. The train won't be going anywhere near Winnipeg.

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