Ninety percent of Wuxi China Expat Engineers come to work drunk

The World Consortium for Alcoholism released the results of its' survey of alcoholism among the workers of the Wuxi China Expatdom today.

The survey revealed that ninety percent of Engineers in the Expatdom came to work drunk fifty percent of the time.

This came as a surprise to Wuxi China Expats who had thought English Teachers were much bigger drinkers. The survey revealed that only seventy five percent of Wuxi English Teachers came to teach drunk forty percent of the time, that is when they were able to come to teach -- in which case there was a ten percent chance of that happening.

Horst Hoist, president of the Wuxi China Expat Engineers Association, defended the alcoholism of his members saying that the bottle was a source of inspiration for new and revolutionary engineering designs.

Sir Anthony Farquart, president of the Wuxi China Expat English Teachers Association, said his members would be more drunk if they were paid more.  "Currently," said Farquart," twenty five percent of English Teachers can't afford to teach drunk one hundred percent of the time!  There is only one English teacher in the Expatdom who doesn't come to work drunk and that is Andis Kaulins, the notorious tightwad and president of the Wuxi China Expat Rifle Association."