Above: Gorzo the Mighty, disguised as Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih, points to his wife Queen Ayira: the Chosen One after being presented with the AKIC 2011 Wuxi Expat of the year award. Crowning him is Wuxi China Expatdom Prime Minister Mango.
Gorzo the Mighty is the 2011 Wuxi Expat of the year as determined by the Andis Kaulins in China blog. He received the reward at the 2011 AKIC Awards banquet held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.
It was a decision that surprised no one. In a year full of great Wuxi Expat personalities like WCERN Admiral Lloyd Bridges, WCE Prime Minister Mango, his wife Wonder Woman, WCE Chief Inspector Harry Callahan, WCERAF Marshall Gregory Peck, WCELF General Colonel Harlan Sanders, WCEFAS President and Minister of Colonies Harry Moore, and Gambay's Pub owners Fred and Frank Minkleman, there was only person who could claim be the inspiration for all their amazing accomplishments: His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty.
It was a little over a year ago that Gorzo the Mighty was kicked off a local website www.wuxiguide.net. Undaunted, Gorzo showed up the runners of the site by taking over and creating the most amazing territory in all of human history: the New Wuxi Expatdom. He took the Expatdom out of the mess that the previous King of the Wuxi Expatdom, the Ayatollah of Mordor, had made of it. He invigorated the spirits of Wuxi Expats and made them feel that they, themselves, and not some centralized bureaucratic community organizer, were responsible for their destinies in the universe. Said one Wuxi Expat: "I learned the moral imperative of changing one's underwear, something that many of us had forgotten in the previous WCE administration!"
Gorzo did not center power on himself, and quickly established the WCE as a parliamentary constitutional monarchy democracy with the finer elements of American Classical Liberal Republicanism thrown in. So successful was the model that many Expatdoms in the world applied to join it, even if only in a colonial status.
Gorzo personally lead the Expeditionary Force that captured the previous King of Wuxi, the Ayatollah of Mordor, and took him to the Guantanamo 2 Detention Facility on Canada's Hans Island. After all the evidence of the Ayatollah's maleficence is collected, the former King of Wuxi is scheduled to go on trial sometimes in 2012.
At the announcement of Gorzo's winning the 2011 Wuxi Expat of the year award, Expatriates all over the world opened champagne bottles to celebrate and formed impromptu naturist conga lines of celebrations.
Andis Kaulins, the head of the AKIC blog, said he hoped his selection of Gorzo as a Wuxi Expat of the year would redeem his blog which in 2009 had named President Barack Obama as its Wuxi Expat of the year. "Bowing to the forces of political-correctness I made that choice insulting the many Wuxi Expats who had bravely fought the tyrannical rule of the Ayatollah of Mordor! I hope that this selection will honor their courage!"
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