Said Jackson: "I never, never go to the Pub all that much! I just don't! And I hate it when people joke about me doing so! The bed in the back of the Chestnut Pub, that owner Wally Droop has provided for customers to sleep off, is not mine! I might have slept there a few times, but only a very small amount of few times that it is unfair to make something of it!"
Asked why he is that the first place he goes after work is the Chestnut Pub, Jackson said that it was because it was on the way to his apartment. "You know I really like Wally, and I think it would be darn imprudent to just walk by and not say hi!"
Asked then why it was that he would then stay for a hour, two, or maybe till closing, Jackson said that once he got in the pub, he couldn't get out because everyone wanted to talk to him. "I have so many good friends here you know. These are people that I really, really care about... I just can't up and leave them! And you can't expect me to stay home and drink milk and eat cookies! That is lame unmanly doings!"
Chestnut Pub patron Chris Kasek said he sympathized with Jackson's complaint. "I too" said Kasek, "am constantly having to put off with insinuations that I live in a bottle at the back of the Chest Pub, and that Ron and I share that bed at the back! Those photos of Ron and I taken when we were in a disadvantaged state should not be put in blogs. Frankly, the people who say this blood libels about us must be conservatives or something. They are jealous of our mountebank ways! But don't think we don't care or are heartless and are without feelings because we like to have fun. We do have to a burning need to sometimes go to Chestnut for companionship."
Asked what kind of workers they were, Kasek and Jackson, both said "shot!" and yelled to Wally Droop, as they ran to the exit, to put their drinks on their tab.
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