Many of the crowd carried signs saying "We are not worthy!", "Please increase my low self-esteem!", "I want pork chops and apple sauce!", "Please cure my dandruff!", and "I need detergent to clean the stains on my underwear!" Many others threw off their clothes, claiming that now that they were converted to the cause of Naturism by the mere sight of His Majesty. A few others had to be sprayed with fire hoses to cool their ardor.
His Majesty, after getting off the train, made a short speech to the crowd telling them he agreed with the Honorable Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies Harry Moore's decision to treat the colonies with tough-love. "It is time for Shanghai Expats to grow up!" declared His Majesty. "It is time that they stopped believing in bogeymen and hiding under their beds. It is fine time they took responsibility for their dirty laundry and personal hygiene. For too long you have been ruled by people who say government can do everything for you. Now, you will drink the wine of freedom. But you must realize it is a taste acquired after a bit of struggle, but it is a taste that once fully appreciated, is sweeter and more satisfying than anything on this side of heaven!"
After listening to the speech and thinking about it for a minutes, a few in the crowd starting nodding in agreement and saying "Yeah! you are right!" And the applause then grew and grew and grew until all four billion Shanghai Expats cried in shame and appreciation. After four hours of applause, the crowd of Shanghai Expats then started to chant "We are suitably chastened!"
The Shanghai China Expatdom has been a colony of the Wuxi China Expatdom for a month now.
His Majesty's next stop on his short Shanghai visit will be to Nanjing Road where he will do some Christmas shopping.
I tell ya. Those Shanghai Expats are a bunch of losers
ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of putzes. They are not good enough to be a colony of the Wuxi China Exaptdom
ReplyDeleteMaybe they should be a colonscopy of the Wuxi China Expatdom:}
ReplyDeleteAre there lots of sexpats in the Shanghai
ReplyDeleteExpatdom colon-y? Are they filthy rich?
How about we go and cas-ter-ate 'em? [No, better not, they might re-form as some sort of Lower P'dong Expatdom Eunuchs (no-pants) United league, or some other weird thing].
Shanghai Sexpats used to be the richest Expats in the world until Gorzo the Mighty took over the WCE.
ReplyDeleteMuch as your castration idea is full of merit, I think we should first try to reform them